i cant take this. why cant i open my heart to some other guy? it sucks loving you. how many times hav i said that? whats with me lately. moodswings? wtf uh. i hate myself. i regret falling for you dude. "i am so honored" that was wad he said when i was crushing on him last time. &those false promises. i dont kno what im gna do. stay single? but i get jealous of people who are attached. fuck la oke. i miss u badly. &they told me to just pretend i dont kno u? tell me how. i get rly red whenever i see u. fuck shit.

&i cant control my emotions after dnt just now. seriously. otw home in the bus, i just brokedown. fetched sister &i just couldnt help it? listened to those screamo and techno songs all the way. &it wasnt any help at all.made me even more upset. whats happening to me. &now im having foodswings. lucky i cant get fat easily. god, i all i can do now is pray he do well for his Os and happiness with any girl he wants. the thought of it just hurts. oke nvm.

from today, i'll try to pretend i dont kno him. k cool.
i dont think i wna blog animore. i wont delete my blog. but yeah, enjoy whats left of it. &my past.
i'll update if i really really really want to.

wansuay sayo. sayonara(:

today, was okay. 1hr of free period cos i dont take poa.
pe was hell. girls didnt wna take part in cross country,
i cant. cos most prob got duty. then mr majid got angry, say girls no stamina all.
make us run a total of 20 times back and forth and walk 10 times back and forth, across the field. and 3rounds around the field and jumping jacks. fucking tired oke.

then training. aku high skejap. cos he passed. yadayadayada;
fawwaz was like, 'stop smiling! knock it down!'
-.-
ohoh. then played captains ball wif sec ones. got rugby boys!
they were like 'eh! one two! one two!'
me and myra step tahu je, we say also. nyahaha. so cute oke they all(:

then 9-ed home. ite mat sat next to me. hot oke!
but i was thinking bout one &only(: so i didnt really cared-.-
&his arm ter-hit on top of my chest ther. near shoulder. (:
k whatever, i dont care.

k aku penat giler. ciaos.

wansuay sayo(:

it feels like i dont even kno u, or shd i say. u, dont even kno me? u dont kno how ur presence can make me very happy. &i cant even wipe my smile off my face during training aft u walked away. but oh god, its like we dont f.ing kno each other? kay, idk what to say. guess i just miss you. i love you dude. idk why the feelings are coming back., but it sucks loving u. i regret, i hate it. oh, and how cruel of you to purposely try to break my heart so i would forget u. &u can tell me u were just being friendly? aww. i wana forget u but i dont want to try to. why? cos lyana kan bodoh.hee(:

k aku nak delet my blog. oh &thinking of friendster also-.-

i had to lose you, to see that i failed to love you. aku cinta kamu(:

on msn, i was syirene; and syirene was me. &MILO WAS RADEN. AHHAHAHA.
so pandai2 read the convo oke. damn funny. heh.

SYIRENE(: says:
i slowest already how u can be slower stupid nut!
SYIRENE(: says:
garr.
LYANA(: says:
cos i like to make friends with chipmunks
LYANA(: says:
that look like MEEEEEEEEE
SYIRENE(: says:
HAHAHAHA
LYANA(: says:
nut(:
SYIRENE(: says:
BASTARD SIAA.
SYIRENE(: says:
HAHAHAHA
LYANA(: says:
LOL
_________________
ps. 'syirene' is me. &'raden' is milo(:

RADEN (: says:
lyana!
RADEN (: says:
im a sucker
SYIRENE(: says:
]FSEGF\SEGF]FDHGFDHGFD
SYIRENE(: says:
EWGF
SYIRENE(: says:
RADNE!
RADEN (: says:
burn me down now!!!!
SYIRENE(: says:
RADEN!
SYIRENE(: says:
OMG NOOO!
SYIRENE(: says:
):

kay, im thinking of deleting my blog. cos i dont want people to know how i feel. &not like its doing me any good to blog bout my feelings right. so, should i?

kay, the result of the dragging rescue drill thingy. i need a new set of uniform.

my pantat hot(:
whatever.

just now, i woke up; from a stupid nightmare. yeah. ther was him.
like fuck oke. woke up with tears in my eyes. &i felt dizzy,
&u kno when u feel like ure falling from a builing. then u wake up with a jerk? ive been experiencing that lots of times these nights.
they say its stress &that i think too much? whathefuck uh.

god, give me some hotstuff to make me forget him. i cant take the pain.

aku sayang my girlfriends. nana syir meryl kyra myra bedah<3

my love I'm holdin on forever. Reaching for the love that seems so far. To hold you in my arms. to promise you my love. to tell you from my heart, your all I'm thinkin of. It's so ironic how I had to lose just to see that I failed to love you.

<3

______________
NANA KAMATO NGANTOK says:
aku nye dream nak bakar kebon beans laa!
[c=#000000][b]LYLY [/b][/c says:
geboom. lyana dah pengsan.
c.·¨·.× ђ¡r × says:
WANSUAY! aw aw!
[c=#000000][b]LYLY [/b][/c says:
aku dream bakar mama jadi hangus!
NANA KAMATO NGANTOK says:
WANSUAY BEAN!!!!
c.·¨·.× ђ¡r × says:
hehe
c.·¨·.× ђ¡r × says:
bye mepeks!
[c=#000000][b]LYLY [/b][/c says:
wansuay sayo!
c.·¨·.× ђ¡r × says:
haha
c.·¨·.× ђ¡r × says:
mepek ar lyly!

omfg. i hate this feeling when it comes back again &again. one day im extremely sad that i just wna kill myself, &one day im super high-and-happy giler. oh god. i think im gna be crazy soon eh.

AKU MISS SAYO LAH:(

gah. training today. was okay uh. natasha's last training with bedoksouth. sadsad. really. gah.
didnt even get high during training just now. so not in the mood.

&i fucking touched a big&juicy green caterpillar otw back to ncdcc room. gah.

OH. HAPPY 3RD HAMDAN &NADHIRAH. NADHIRAH, U ARE SO LUCKY.
im jealous nadhirah lasts longer than me, with a ncc guy. so damn jealous.

i hate my love life la seh:(
Other guys will come &go. but tell me, what's the point when all I ever want is you. ugh.

okeee. im feeeeling great(:

cos i have great great gfs!

i'll put up pics. &they'll tell what ive been up to lately.

(:

okay. during training ytd. ther was only us sec3s and 4s.
we had silver footdrill training and rescue test.
omfuck seeyyyy. my belt is like torn.
&the ring thingy on my pants to put in the belt is also like rabak giler.
cos we had to drag each other for the rescue test for at least 5m.

then ms foong can take video of us doin it.
like porn oke!
myra was on top of me. &fawwaz was on top of dani.

i'll upload the rest of the pichas and the rescue drill video next time.
cos my mum just geabbed my phone for idk what reason. but idc.


cos im happppeeeeeeee.
:D

aniway, just now. me meryl milo myra &syir went to cut hair.
wait, only syir. but the rest of us borrowed the layering scissors;
&became hairdressers! hahahha. freaking cool oke. my fringe a little layered ald(:
hehh, then a huff& a puff, &went home(:

this is for real oke! her lips on mine, and mine on hers. dude, dont u just wish ure one of us?(:

&&i think being a lesbian is the best.
HAHA. OKEOKE.KIDDING.
i still like like hothot guys:D
butbut. dier one&only akuuu.
whatever happens, i wont mind. i'll just secretly feel this way.
oops. its not a secret animore.

the city is at war(:

aku no mood to study.
aku no mood to layan guys.
aku no mood see rice.
aku no mood to wear tie tmr.
aku no mood go training tmr.
aku no mood to talk to parents.
aku no mood see salmah tmr.
aku no mood for maths period.
aku no mood to live.


im in need for junk food. im in need for you.

AHH FUCK YOU LA LYANA. GI MAMPOS LEBIH BAIK OKE? PEOPLE ARE GIVING U ADVICE FOR SHIT WHEN U DONT EVEN WNA LISTEN.WHY CANT U JUST FUCKING LET GO OF THE PAST? CB. FREAK.
AH! fuck :'(

MERYL.is super upset but she doesn knows why.. )): says:
why you wanna go shoter

[c=#000000][b]LYLY [/b][/c]:] says:
cause guys these days so short.

MERYL.is super upset but she doesn knows why.. )): says:
HAHAHHAHAS! OH MY YOU ROCK. I AGREE!


AKU CINTAA _____!
myra said im weak for saying that just now. guess shes right eh?
whatever oke?
i feel so dead today. soemone take my heart away, take the pain away.
yeahyeah, i looked okay. thanks to my girlfriends.
but during lessons im like at cloud9. gaboom.
i think too much; stupid bitch.
tution was like hell. nth went in my head. he occupied all the space in my head oke.
suck giler babi.
ouchouch. loving&missing you hurts like hell.

lyana! studies are ur priorities. stop being so fucking stupid.

im seriously gna cry myself to sleep tonight. makan pun takde selera.
could have brokedown anytime. where did the strong lyana go?

k nights. boohoo; i hate myself.

HAHA!

pictures from other days. gaboom(:

every night crying myself to sleep,
thinking why does my heart have to feel this way
maybe, if my heart stop beating;
it wouldnt have to hurt this much.
i cant find the right words to tell you,
but all i kno is ily .


blaaaahh. dragon boat today. i'll upload the pictures next time.
no mood, my heart is not at peace.
bye.

what the hell am i feeling. the feelings arent suppose to come back. but yeah, im missing u mcm giler babi; it hurts. i dont wana feel this way, but i cant help it. i just want to hide whenever i see you, this is so irritating. fuck shit.

AKU NAK MATIII.


cos I pray that our love can be found;
i need you, i miss you.

aniway, happy 2nd anniversary bedah. dont be naughty, hope u last long wif him yeah(:


kiter tak suker all those ncc veggie. garr. one day, we'll cook them and eat them for dinner oke meryl? (:

i was high high high during training.
hahaha.
i was asking anyone for the magic word for whoever who asks for the ball.

& guess the magic word.nyahahaha,
his name(:(:

i was laughing throughout the training.
then aft training, went to change;
&fawwaz took pic of me for his com studies o lvl assignment.

"oh no. her picture is gna go to cambridge there"
hahahahha,i didnt ask u to take my picture oke.

&he took picture of me with long four &skul skirt.
belo giler. haha.

&danial broke my deodorant cover and was apologising continuously.
he scared i call all they guy i kno to beat him up.
hahahaha,

k dah, bye :D

i rly dont kno what to do ;

oh god, i miss paks. lyk fuck when im not suppose to,

busy busy week,
ga boom.

so evth's settled now.
no misunderstandings.
yayyyyye.
PEACE<3

aku single single.
just that now, i can do WHATEVER I LIKE,
(:

idc what you do animore.
chances after chances,heh.
you shouldve told me way before.
guess ure not over her eh. i dont mind.
ur lost; not mine.

guys realy cant be trusted eh?
lets see. i'll try to be single for the REST of the year.
TRY OKE.
(:

had 3hrs straight of maths just now;
giler babi. lucky ms lam didnt come.
so enjoy uh(:

he's the reason of the tear drops on my guitar,
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough

AHH. AKU TAK TAUU LAHH.
im so confused.

I MISS 2007.
i wna turn back time.
:(

yo yo yoooo.
(:

kay so long since ive updated.
my class, i think i'll grow to like them even more.
cool cool peeps ther:D

lately so many things happened.
oh oh. u dont care anymore?
yaye,so lets talk.
:D

ure such a bitch to her.seriously.
u think u can trust people who are strangers or who arent very close to you?
u must be dammmn stupid.

u call urself a friend?
do u kno why were doing all this?
cos of what YOU did.
u prefer ur godsiblings kann?
kawan nak kene bedal ngan godsiblings pun buat durkk je.
& u kno what?i dont fucking care.
cos dorang nak step besar mcm ko jugak,
ckp dengan dier, &make extremely stupid lies.
-.-

aniway.blog, is to write bout feelings etc. etc.
my blog, i am free to say whatever i like,
so jgn merepek ckp psl whatever u like to wear etc.
u should understand dear(:
&Im choosing to not care animore.
cos a 'fren' like you, is not worth my time(:

&i'll jus shut up.
ill watch as they backstab u slowly.
hahaha.k sshh(:

whatever.so my laptop's down.
wont be posting so often.using uncle's now,
i hate sec3.

oh &isa. sorry, i cant help it.
my eyes giler uh. suker hujan sembarang-.-

k fuck im in a dilemma.
if i choose A, my friendship wif her will be affected.
if i go with B, it wont be a sincere relationship &i wont be happy.
hoowww!
aku nak stay single.

ure the reason i always cry,
imissyou.

LYANA.GO KILL URSELF(:
BYE.

hahahhahaha.
so much for trusting guys.
busted ehh?(:
im not dumb you kno.
whateverrr.
im better of single.
u dont make false promises?pala hotak.

Lyly.U had up n downs in ur sec2 life. Ure a big girl now kan? All e more I knw u can think for ureself n knw wads the best for u.Well, I had fun with u. the times in cssp camp. That was hell of fun. Lyana. Na ape? Nadhirah. Ra ape? Raden. Den ape? Dengdeng. Alakadeng deng deng deng. :D anw, stay strong k girl? Some other guy will come along. Mr Q,R,S. hehe. Oh oh! Hope u’ll get ur rank cepat cepat.:D

that was what nadhirah wrote about me in her blogg.
i miss doing the whole alakadeng cheer+jumping around mcm bodoh,
i really miss 2007,i really do.

i hate 3d.
blabla.
k busy week,so didnt really have time to blog.
2nd day &we had maths hw ald-.-

had training until 6+,
reached home like 8.

how does it feel to have little girls in ur class.
&most of them are from guides-.-,
&got the budak kechik-kecoh in ur class aso.
thers only like 3 or 4 i find i can get along.
gahhh,

oh & mdm yasmin is my form tutor.
&she made me sit in the middle of guys.
bodoh, ajar pun leh tetido.

i got mdm salmah for malay!
yaye!
who is gna take us for next year also if im not wrong.
damn.fuck.
pls ah, ko nye trolli yang menyebok depan ko biler aku nak salam.aku ade susah2 stretch2 nak salam ko abeh ko ckp aku tak sincere nak salam. pala hotak.stupid yellow nuthead.

&today's cca dayyy:D
i see lots of small small people,
parade,at first i wasnt the back ic cause clarence came.
then last minute, cos the squad got lobang,
clarence just stand by at the booth &they made me back ic again.
i wasnt readddyy-.-

and cd came(:
i got to ride the rhinoo.and play with the sirens!
and play the misgunn,however u spell it.
(:

hee.i love today(:
bye(:

damn it,
she got what i wanted to get.
stupid nut.

k blah.firstly(i kno its kinda late, but wadever),
happy 2008 people! oh here come's hell in 3D :D

whatver ah,
so went to countdown ytd at downntown(:
surprisingly, mum let sehh.
hee(:

k so met isa at bus 17.
then got his kawan, amira?
ntah ade 'h' ke tak. she's like super duper friendly &kind
(:

then blabla.reached downtown &had to wait for his other brothers,
then amira dah duno go wher.
&i was the only girll left ):

z.so went it the tempat.
got like clubbing lights everwhere.cool(:
then satsat until countdown.

&smth happened at the strike of 12.
isaaa, im so sorry, i just need more timee;
i dont wna hurt you or anth,
):

kaayy, then dad fetch and went homme.
boring but funnn.understand? :D

school starting tomorrowww.
yaye:D
then got training after school until 6.30
giler babi D:


OH OH.&LOOK WHAT SHAH WROTE ABOUT ME ON HER BLOGG :D

LyLy: haha.i'm sorry for bullying you eh.having you in another is like torture for me babe.you always made me laugh eventhough tak sengaja.hey.dont let idiots get into ur head and well, you know,make u cry.they're not worth it.you are worth much more than what they can or will give you.muacks.rememebr, you are not alone in 3D. the others and I are always free for you to hang ard with.lyly.i will miss you so much sayang.muacks.may you have a splendid 2008.stay true to urself !muacks.

SHAHHH. I LOVE YOU BABE<3>