im sick &tmr's MYE . &this stupid feeling suck. imysm . looked thru pics. &i wish i could turn back time. ah fuck it . FUCK LOVE. FUCK LIFE. FUCK FAMILY . FUCK NCD. FUCK EVTH LAA. YEA, FUCKFUCKFUCK.

you're the light that makes my darkness disappear ,

i need you by my side.

CHIPMUNK STUDY GEOG O.O
finally, some common sense into his brain. oops. i mean its brain (:

from nad's blog(oct 07):

• lyly~! pak sayur wore pink home. HAWT pink! den den. his _________ can see u knw. oh oh! ncc boys did 20 pumps just nw. *winks*.
  

• saw raden marahing e sec1. eeeeeeee! step.(:big time. byk nyr besar ke pe?? huh huh? me n syir planned to blog abt him. muahahas.

-.-
HA. HA. HA .

I DIDNT GO FOR NDP REHEARSAL.
COS WHY ? COS I CANT GET UP TO TH CD ROOM TO TAKE MY UNIFORM.
GREEAAT.

i miss him so much that i brokedown all of a sudden .
i cant even get myself to study now. fuck it.
is it me , or did i rly hear his voice over th phone ? whatever lahh )':

i feel like taking pills to make myself sleep. or maybe banging my head against th wall will do.
ndp until 11.30 am tmr. waste time je go back and forth hq. pfft.
someone slack / study wimme after that ? ):

u chase my thoughts away, to a place wher im blinded by th light ;

baboom .
today, chem is, i dont kno what to say.
iliya &joel being perverts as usual. assholes.
they made dirty jokes abt me wanting to be a paramedic-_-
i have to admit, it was funny. &i was practically laughing at myself. got damn high ;
then (: , passed my class.
wah seh , th whole class looked. &i turned redd. tried to play it cool, but classmates are sooo irritating. heh.

public duty fr sepak takraw tournament at bedok cc ther. or is it stadium ? idk.
changkat changi sepak takraw players are fuuuucckiinng HOT.

k blah. then returned firstaid bag to school.
(: made my day. hee . bedok inter to eat. then hoomme.

so long my luckless romance ;

hello world.

this is what i've been up to in maths class. i'm planning to flung my a maths(: oke good.




yea; we were bored, even fire excites us.

babi.babi.babi. my life is so boring with mid years arnd the corner. all i see is books all day long. &i've thought of what i want to try to achieve for ncdcc. i want them to be th GOH next year. then i bcome parade commander, oke damn prasan . but whatever. HAHA. then i must become warrant officer already, so that i can hold th PEDANG(: wouldn't that be cool ? (: but nahh, wouldn't happen. heeehuuu .

sedarkan aku, tuhan, dia bukan milikku.
biar waktu, hapuskan aku. imissyouso

-grabbed frm nad (:

my head is heavy &my heart feels like its missing. i dont make sense. my eyes are tired because of yesterday night. white specs are everywhere, irritating shit. &i have catching up to do for th mid years. its like my life has no meaning anymore. i dont know what i want now ; cause evth is fucked up. im just going with th flow . i think im gna have fever. hah. goodbye

Terus melangkah melupakanmu ,
Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu .

for 3 continuous days, u keep visiting me in my sleep. i dont kno what to do, i miss you so much . &istillloveyou .

oke. LF today. shirt is damn nice.
but the event itself is not so exciting as last year.
duh. this year so lonely, right wenjia ? ):

fuck th mother of my school .
haven't u ruin my reputation enough already ?
stop making problems when ther isn't any to start with .

dragonboat competiton tmr. wont be attending lessons tmr (:
okay. today is th most pathetic day ever .

even seeing u frm afar can brighten up my day . imy duuuddee.

10:51
best timing ever for 2.4km run(:

okaaye. tired giler babi. i can die now.
2.4 in th morn. naek-turun2 th school searching fr fawwaz.
&it was super fucking hot.

training was oke .
getting th hang of this taking over of cd thingy.
oke, cool.

my snco course clash with thailand trip. how ? ):
NDP , trainings , camps to organise , courses , overseas trip , studies. hmm, what else ?

&idk wtf is wrong with me these days.
its just hurting so much to let go ,

shut up, i enjoy wearing this crown i made myself, &walking arnd th school with it.
im proud of it (: im jus trying to cheer myself up aniway (:

&th joy is fading away as th day passes.
im lyk celebrating this day myself. syiok sendiri eh lyly ?
hah. i wrote a longlong letter (: nt lyk im gna show it to anyone aniway .

dragonboat, not fun. but camwhoring session with going-to-be cca leaders;
was super duper fun . burger king with them; then tution until 10 .

nw, idk hw i feel. eh i kno, i feel lyk crap .
oke, training tmr. &2.4 run .

jus drank coffee jus nw, at night . best ehh .
im not being myself today. goodnight.

thanks for watching as i fall ,
you were evth, evth that i ever wanted.

dia seorang corporal yang berangan nak jadi staff sgt -_-'

TMR IS THE 15TH OF APRIL.

k, so what ?
to anyone &everyone, if i say his name tmr , whack me .

today . training. rock my boots when fawwaz wasnt ther.
but sucked towards th end.
mentang2 dah nak step down selfish .
whatever ah, saye dapat donut dah happy (:

DRAGGOONNNBOAAT TMRRR. TUTION MAKE UP AT NIGGHHT .
BOLEH MATI LA SEYYYY.

just get out of my head.
jealousy eh ? the thought that he loved her more than he did fr me,
urgh.

i wonder hw long am i gna stay this way.
i wonder hw long am i gna continue loving him.

of all th things i believe in , i jus want to get it over with .

couldnt help but to reminisce bout the past. friendship was strong. we were in love. we were innocent. now ?


um wow, amazing how people change so fast bcos of the people around them.
maybe i should be like him. i guess i kno how he feels lyk now.
oke, pathetic.

&maybe i shd keep my posts short. meaningless but no one will most likely understand
lyk syir's. yeah . i should (:


banyak kata yang tak mampu ku ungkapkan ;

rehearsal &training was DAMMNNN SHAAAAAGGGG.

daaahhh.
aku dah tknk create problems.
im'a goodgirl nww (:

really sorry frens. thanks alot.
i'll help u out in any way i can wdv happens oke.
<3

happy ncdcc day people.
not enthu bout it, dk why.
boots whole day. sleepy, and feets were cramped.
woke up at 5.rushed,
cos some hantu bangun pagi2 to fetch me frm my bustop wher i alight.
and she was hyper cos she drank red bull pagi2 -_-

moving on, ceremony was; okay. pfft.
naseb aku tk ckp pledge. fawwaz shd kno why . woosh .

settled stuff aft school .
played netball wif cd uniform ?
srsly stupid. berpeluh. &we had rehearsal aft that.
training, i pity th juniors. but foong was, urgh .
tak pakai boots th whole day diam lah cb .

kaki aku mcm nak patah by th end of th day -_-
pat bedok inter lepas training, bnyk sayo. and cd officers.cool eh.

you're the one that i love, the one that i keep trying to hold on to .
&i miss you , again.

i know saying sorry wont change a thing.
but yeah, thousand &thousands of apologies.
bcos of me, both of u got caught.
i was in a helpless situation myself, &my mind was messed up.

&isa, sorry too.

dad meeting abs tmr ? i have nothing to hide already .
those people can tell lies all they want.
i swear to my god, i have never shouted or screamed, or been rude to any teacher.

evertyhing's gna be alright .

sorry to everyone.
sorry ibu, sorry ba .
sorry ms foong.
sorry kawan2.
i kno i let u down. &i regret it .
i would want to turn back time if i could.
im not the person i used to be, i guess.
or is it jus the past, haunting me again&again.
just that stupid small thing can get me into deep shit .
no use crying, just the truth .

once again, sorry everyone .

i need you, sayo .

HAHAHA.
I SHOWED HIS PICHA TO MY ADEK . &HER REACTION;

"OMG! HIS FACE SO ROUND. SO CUUTEE~! "

HAAAAAAAAA! his face is not even freaking round. K DIAM LYANA.

BODOH PEH JANTAN.
ko blang kite, sape yang start vulgarities ni smue dulu? kite ckp baik2, ko tau paki fuck fuck fuck.
itu je ko tau ckp pe ?
ko dgn dier dah takde pape , abeh knape ko maki2 dier pat blog?
ko ingat dier nak jealous pls ko? MEMALUKAN ADE UH SEY.

jantan sial. fyi eh, dier tak buat pape pat ko biler korang break up;
abeh ko da lah bastard dia, tukar pompuan mcm tukar seluar dalam ke pe ?
abeh nak kata kite immature smua.
ko blang aku, sape yang maki2 pat tgboard blog dier sendiri? kite cume advice ko,
AS FRENS.
ko blang aku, sape yang immature? KO PENTINGKAN NAFSU BODOH.
NAFSU NAFSU. TAK DAPAT , BUANG AH ?

maki2 ex ko pat blog, KO INGAT KLAKAAR PEE!
BUAT MALU BUDAK NCC JE.
....
k, last line tak perlu(:

LOOKS CAN BE SO DECEIVING.

(today's pichaaa)
heellllllloooooooooo.
saya miss awaaaaakk! &i kno, u're busy dancing ur ass out nw(:
k i nd to studyy.

stop this ;
im lyk waiting fr him to go online or smth,
although i have bloodshot eyes now.
what the fucckkk laaa~

i miss u love;

okay. i remembered wearing pink socks to school.
&running to school wif bedah and her boyfie cos we were gna be late.
&wanting to shit throughout training.
HAHA.

okaye. went bedok aft training. aanndd homee.

someonnee stole my skirt. bloody banglas.
yeah, im accusing w/o evidence. but who else would want to steal my skirt ?

today is a god damn tiring &boring day.

&see. this post is not emo. none of them are.
(:

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough,
I try as hard as I can.


I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real,
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees,
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man,
I try as hard as I can.

why do u see right thru me ?


lyly pandai. cos of sudden high-ness,
ive got another injury on the same damn leg.
socks got soaked in blood. was a minor injury, but still. ouch.
waht next, kaki kodong ? -_-

&great. i got another offence form.
k sleepy, goodnight people.

HAHA. AKU MCM SIAL PAKAI F.A.D. ARND THE SKUL NYARI.
PADAHAL TAK SAKET TERUK.

that teacher called me &wen jia up fr playing during assembly.
teachers are so biased in our school.
wen jia, dont be sad. evths gna be alright oke? (:

ohoh! thanks to my burn on my knee, my broadjump 182(:
furtherst so far in my god damn life (:

training todaaay.
in charge fr a while. then fawwaz came soon after that.
ms foong bought fr sec 2s and ncos drinks. thankkk uu(:

then went to bedok. slacked wif wenjia nana and myra.
got dammmnn high giler babi.
&i was talking and laughing lyk giler to myself.
went home at 7 and my injury is burning. shit.

I MISS NATASHAAA ~

i dont kno why. but evtm i go to the school library , i end up looking fr cooking books.
yummmyy.

so yesterday night.
i was ironing my uniform.
&i hav a habit of sitting cross legged,
&then, place the ironing board on my lap.
yeah, fucking stupid. &so, being sleepy, i ter-iron my left knee.
-_- nyah.
&this morn, the skin is peeling and its somewhat darkdark brown.
my tangan gatal, i go kopek. &my flesh can be seen.
&its bright brown &pinkish. &WATERY. FUCKING EW.

im gna go balut it tmr, cos my knee looks freaking ugly.

tadi, got angry. sorry gfs. cant really control my emotions these days.
my juniors temaned me to bedok inter. ty(:
met gfs. some went home &was left wif khairah meryl suffian and wan belo(?)
laughed alot. jolok2 pokok manggo. makan manngo pat pondok(:
khairah cakap ngan kucing. meryl loves hitting people's boobs.
then went home (:

KITE MAKAN MANGGO PUN KORANG PANGGIL KITE SLUTS? WHAT THE-?