top of the worrrlld! oke, no. top of gunung actually. we touched clouddds! k lame.

Do you know where your love is? Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but nothing's turned out how you wanted.

Well, bless my soul, You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe.
And a place to rest my head.

haha. i blacked out during ytd's first combined rehearsal.
&now, my body temp is going up &down. oke, weird.

hey ho .

im so damn tired. but yea , i'll be gg home only at 10 at night every fridays. &having ndp training th next day. &madrasa &tution on sunday. heh . at least these activities will get my mind off, stuff. today isnt my day. so yea , sorry peepos. sorry leon &joel fr shouting &throwing th bottle at u guys so rudely . idk why, but today, my mood isnt perfect. it goes highh up, and down too. i guess classmates were just so irritating, saying his name so many times &all. &i got freaked out. not rly, just, fed up i guess. thanks gfs(: thanks wenjia fr being ther(: okay so training, had first lecture ? no, i didnt do th listening. i was doing th lecture. hehe. oke. exco meeting aft tht . phototaking with blazers(?) &ties. yaye, i look cooool . simpang. then tution with shah &nad. kay wdv, goodnite world(:

yea, u dont give a damn. heh. &u said, anth can just talk to u .
talk your ass lahh ; asfksmfirgklm .
&i thought you're evth i thought you'd be , but noooooo !

ahahaha. im so happpy todaaaay .
kay not rly . u know what, i just bought a blue bra, &idk why it makes me so happy (:
wheee ! oke, today's a very weird day .
didnt pay attention to all th lessons. why ?
cos mdm Y changed my seat right beside th window.
&windows are made of glass, which of course, has reflection.
&i can see guys playing soccer at th basketball court below ,
distraction okaaay ! so, yongda &wenjia had to be assholes.
pfft . my heart stopped fr a moment, kecoh siaa . haha .
okay, so went to city hall. last minute thing. WITH OUR SCHOOL ATTIRE .
hahahah. so maluuu . but it was a fast one , cos nana had to use up vouchers or smth .
otw back, saw fido/amirul , whatever he's called. surprised tht he actually remembered my name. haha!
i have tution laterrr . &photoshoot fr some exco thing tmr (: hehe .
&tmr's gna be th first ncd training &im gna be alone ): okay bye .

take me by th hand , &i swear I'll make it up to you.

wdv la bitch , im not gna bother bout u . seriously nt worth my attention cheapo .

so foong was like going berserk today. assembly was funn . yongda kept saying (: name . haha .
fawwaz got award frm school also, fr best cadet . heh. i cheered, happy fr him okaaay.
i realise these days im doing things just to please others. heh .
im nt even doing what i really want in life. i cant be bothered anymore.

im falling for u over again. it was you all th while;
ahh . good luck to you fr ur o's.

life is good i cant complain . i could, but no one's listening.

people can be so irritating. now i can see whos th gentleman &whos not. buang masa sia layan laki mcm ko. wdv lah. i dont want anything got to do with you .

life hasnt been so well .or maybe its just me , expecting too much. i give up, on cd. i giv up, on you. i giv up trying to make things right.

AHH. im so happy to see you today. i miss you .
kay stop it lyly . stop hoping &dreaming .
u're just a fucking useless bitch . k bye .

&i still shed a tear every once in a while ;

i dont know if im happy tht school's starting or whether im sad.
timetable's screwed. but,
im hap-hap-happyyy today(:
-
until i had tution ;yeah , spoiled my mood.
tho i think no one knew . i need to get this off my chest.
so disturbing. yea , since u prefer them rather than us . go then .
all i talk abt is him him him kan. i know . oke wdv.

i dont think i make sense. i think i do ,
just tht u dont understand. hah . shit .

i look constipated-.-
korang ingat slimrash ? (: i feel we're drifting away this year. hais .

wasted another day of my hols rotting at home. great.

you're my sunshine, my only sunshine,
u make me happy, when skies are grey,
u never know dear, how much i love you,
so pls dont take, my sunshine away .

aww.

this feeling is killing me .
i feel so stupid now laah . idk why,
these past few days, i easily feel like crying. heh .
&to think tht this is ur last year in school? ahh, shit .
would i be out of line, to say i miss you ?

im wasting away;

camp was, in my opinion, a success . hey , at least th cadets bonded &had fun .
&they behaved(: , sometimes.

ncd had some games combined with np &ncc.
okay first day . basic games &etc.

then all ugs mixed to form one group, then fight another multi ug grp , captain ball !
then ncos played. maam natasha became th captain, &so, i was th only girl in th court.
then one guy with green socks, freaking elbowed my shoulder-.- didnt even say sorry.
then got blue blaacck ! :(

moving on, campfire tht night. ncd seniors were ther half of th whole thing.
prepared nightwalk. i was stationed at fitness corner alonnne . but i had funn (:

then at night! climbed out of schoool . i dont make a good robber ):
went 7eleven with fawwaz &ying bing.
others dah bastard us , go wif gf / bf . wdv laa . then went back,
slept at foyer on stretchers ! (: we didnt sleep actually , talktalk &Etc.

next day dragon boating. waz dani natasha &me slept at th playground!
then got th ncc p.o.p. i envy them okaay.
&yea , had moodswings all of a sudden , sorry. but yea .
u guys tink of urselves only whaaaat .
i seriously felt lyk crying when foong was talking to us at th parade square. takle tahannn .

oke so yea . basically, this camp. is a memorable-and-once-in-a-lifetime thing (: heh.

cos you and i know , that evth i wanted, it comes right down to you .

stupid camp.
everyone's overseas. myra cant come tmr to help prepare bcos of her dad.
hock meng fever. tak habes2 .
juniors giving me fucked up reasons to not go camp .
even some of th sec 2s , i ask to collect size also cannot.
&wht, all of u giv tht 10cent face when u saw ncdcc's schedule.
ah, go die laa . wht do u expect ? everything's pushed to me .
unlike u all, 2 cca combining camp. 2 heads better than 1 wht.
i ask to combine with ncdcc, pun tak boleh. wht shit?
ncdcc too little people ? isnt tht better?!
at least we wont need to double check TWO DIFFERENT SCHEDULES.
kan make things easier . pfft.
seeing npcc &ncc having so much fun preparing th camp together,
makes me so jealous. lyk why th hell ncdcc evtm get lefts out?
mentang2 korang nye unit dah 'maju' ;
srsly, i felt lyk crying aft th meeting jus now .
thought u were gna be at th meeting, but no.
i rmbred u saying tht anth, i can jus talk to u . but heh.
i rly needed someone to talk to just now .
sorry dani, i took out my anger on u .
srsly fucking cnt take th pressure tht's on me .

ah wdv. i give up. bye .

&at a situation like this , i just wish i had a boyfriend. not tht i regret not having one,
but yea. jus feel freaking lonely. HAHA. i sound stupid . k shudap lyly.
everyone's busy with their boyfs, &being GROUNDED.
&me, im given th chance to finally go out &enjoy myself. but, everyone's busy .
great. ha-ha.

&u know what, im burnt thanks to ndp . i swear i felt th sun eating my face skin .
&ther's a 'v' shape on my chest. haha! diam ah. its damn cool okay.

i think , i want to stay over with th npcc people on tuesday night. for fun (:
hah, but before tht, i think im gg crazy bout th camp.
waz &dani go overseas. &myra, her dad gila . hock meng? blur; ahh fuck la .

• camp shirt sizes &designs. (design with fawwaz . how ?! )
  
• sleeping area .
• wet weather plan .

god damnit .
idk why im talking so much.

its as if you are dead. fawwaz told me bout youu, &it made me smile (:
i miss you so .

more pictures(:-k wow , im growing darker each day thanks to ncd. pfft .
-FAMILY, going overseas this sunday (: home alone yoo (:

im looking at this wall, repeating,' boy, iloveyou(:'

this has to stop. i broke up, cos i didnt want love.
but im getting irritated by people.

all i want is to hear from him, or gfs.
no one else. so please, my msgs/calls are for better use.

Can't show u how i feel. I'm breaking down &I'm falling down. But now I'm breathing but now I am scared to move. don't listen to a word I tell you, just take me by my hand &I swear I'll make this up to you. You can say that you don't miss me but I think about you every day. thers so much but little time &imy. baby, you're all i ever wanted.

HELLO. I MISS YOU (:
i wonder how're u doing .
i miss hugging chipmunk to sleep. yea, i didnt bring it along ):

lazy to type. i will, if i need to. let th pictures to th story telling.
aniway, most of it is with khairah's camera. this is all tht i have.
i'll jus put highlights of each day.

1st day-dinner while watching some traditional performance.


2nd day- garden filled with flowers(:

3rd day- ELEPHANNT & RAFTING (:

-i look ugly. so dont mind me .




hello. we managed to squeeze between the 2 beds (:
-haikal was th only guy in this room as we had to get ready smth for th school ther.
-he prayed fr us one by one ! we felt damn safe okaaay . haha .
-funfun night.
4th day- long neck village. wild night (:
- no pics.
-we raped meryl.
:D

i'll put up more pics when i get them . sleepy, goodnight (:

yo. im back frm hell. &my stomach hurts frm all those guy standard push-ups. pfft .
gna go to thailand tmr morning. chiang mai! elephannt, saye comingg ! wee .

"baby , th greatest thing abt you , is that ;
u made me love (:

-&imy dude."

i wna make mum happy.
i wna make ms foong happy before she leaves.
i wna make that fucking Mdm.Y happy.
i wna make gfs happy.
i wna make fawwaz happy after he stepped down.
i hope i can achieve as much as him.
yea, i will try to get th plague, fr you .
i kno u rly want me to get it. so yea .
i kno i dont have what it takes to take over cd, but i'll try my best.
to us four, u've been like a dad. ever since we were in sjab (:

wont be seeing or hearing much of me. so, goodbye (:

&now im scared to move;
jus take my hand, &i'll make it up to you .
-

im afraid.
i think i wont be posting much next week.
i miss my gfs lyk hell. i wish i can escape frm mum &meet them.
gna have snco course tmr. alone. &guess which school im gg with.
st pats. those fucking sgts i bullied during ndp rehearsel. plus idk what other schools thats gg uh .
&i still have to prepare a presentation fr th course. i think im gna do first aid. or shd i do on cpr ?
gna spend my whole fucking 4days waking up at 4+ to travel to boon lay,
&reaching home at 8. then thursday night got tution until 9.30;
then maybe gg to aiport that night jgak. cos friends plan to go earlier. idk why.
&then, next morning fly ald.
oh god.

i can breakdown anytime. mom's putting even more pressure.
yea, fought with her again jus now. and zooom, evth came out.
i cried, she cried. z.
i need someone to talk to .
i need you. yes you, th you i've always wanted.