farz&lyly on th ferry to Nagazaki (:

okaay, th WO interview th other day went quite well. altho i think major howard has smth against me -.- kay whatever. oh, my face is in th latest rhino magazine. wtfuck eh , my muke stoink . heh.

today, went to th pizza treat with farz, imraan, matt, hamdan, radin &aaron. thanks farz (: walked around &i had to rush home. so 21-ed with farz &imraan (: kay, i think i'll study th whole day tmr. haha !

oh yea, i remember nana, wj &me talking that day. we were thinking of making a sisterhood(HAHA!) . &nana said we could name it 137 or smth. &be neighbours with 138-.- with her fucking cute actions. hahaha!

I was thinkin bout you, &it kinda made me smile,

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it baby
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

guess this explains how i feel ? hah .

why must you add on ?
do you know how i feel now ? I FEEL LIKE SHIT .,
i have this stupid tak sedap kind of feeling . y'know, when old people say that smth's gna happen to ur family/friends or even YOURSELF.
&thers WO interview tmr. wtf okay. &camp on thurs .
&now, you dont let me attend them? OH PLEASE. CCA STOOD DOWN AGES AGO. &I HAVE STARTED STUDYING WHEN HOLS JUST STARTED.
NOT LIKE YOU EVEN BOTHER TO KNOW ME KAN ?
do u know this feelings is rly bothering me ? i fucking feel like crying okay.
idk whats happening, or whats gna happen, but FUCK . i cant concentrate on anth .
it comes and goes away . &when it comes, it attacks me like shit. leaving me feeling god damn worried and afraid
omg, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT ? AHH.
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME ??

who am i lying to ? myself ? what th fuck am i doing. why am i taking th chance ? oh wait, cos i knew my chances were zero alr. &then i decide to just go with th flow . omfuck , get things straight lyly .
stop adding pressure. cos every msg each of you send, fucking irritates me . im sorry im being so harsh here. but fuck it . im so fucking down . stop shooting me with words as if im th one to blame. im sorry . im taking a break frm u guys for tonight.

im so sorry :'(

its 11 am . &i cant sleep cos i've been falling asleep th whole day . &currently, i've been thinkin bout my life . idk how to put in th right words , but i rly feel like ranting bout it , so here goes.

looking at my exs now, they look so happy with their new life. me ? idk. i guess i am happy. with wonderful girlfriends, &also new found halal family(: they're great people, but sometimes, it just made me stop to think . why dont i have that specail someone ? maybe i do . &maybe i dont. see what i mean . i dont even know. even if i do , i have 2nd thoughts. idk what's making me cling on to him but i just hope he's trying his best to change ? having someone who doesnt truly understand you. get what i mean ? all i want is for him to know what a normal girl like me wants from a guy . i dont want him to be taught on how to treat me . that's plain stupid. or worse, me making an obvious hint on what i expect. sometimes, i jsut wish fr th past. sometimes i just wonder, what's lacking in me ? is it me , or all th other guys . &i think i forgot how it feels like to be a girlfriend. seriously , when i see people saying ily to each other, i'll be like ' urgh . do you fucking know what love is' not like i do , but they say it cheaply . like y'know. its so disgusting . then some that doesnt appreciate their loved ones, makes me think back bout my past. &i definitely regret. okay, dont sidetrack . now, all i rly hope, is that i'll get this cleared &make th right choice. whether i choose any of them , or continue my life this way (:

you're th one i miss,
you're th one i always think of.
but why dont you know what to do always ? it sucks y'know.

did i lose my love to someone better ?

volcano @ mt. Aso .

okay, i wna go back to japan . the cool weather. th polite people . where all th problems are left in spore. i miss all those stuff. i miss those pillow fights. i miss th collecting of ice at th hotel . sharing of ice cream . new close friends, damn good company . spore sucks.

woohoo. dont act know it all la . its fucking irritating. &to ur good friend, really. watch ur mouth . cos i think u deserve a slap one day. &stop being a FUCKING BIG hypocrite. yaya, everyone is a hypocrite, but you. melampau .

kay im done letting out my anger. i miss someone im not suppose to. so long since i hung out with you. hais.
im gna sleep , bye.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHAIRAH <3

girl, stay strong. we all will be separated, &we're gona miss you so god damn much . i hope this will motivate you to work even harder. tho i think it would be better if they would just give you a 2nd chance ): haii . i really just hope you'd still hang out with us after school &remain close. kay, all the best in evth you do yea ? i'd be here for you if you need a listening ear (: preservere till the enddd ! okay stop.

japan was fucking awesome. great company too (: huhuhu. pics will be at multiply profile. im too lazy to blog bout each &every day, so ya. bye .

k im rushing fr time . ahh . i dont wna go . damnit .
too late. flight at 1am . &i hav to be there at 10pm. k actually , i jsut wna say .

to my gfs &mok ;
takecare of urself in spore. dont forget me okay. always think of me ! :D ahh . okay . i love y'all . i'll miss all of you okaay . to nana kyra wj , rmbr th outing ahh :DD kay. <333

boy, i miss you .

oh , &maybe bsss girls are going to raya with th sirs? not sure yet . heh(:
hahaha. see his caption . acc to sir fairuz, we girls are his charlie's angels. haha!

http://www.friendster.com/photos/16465061/1/922424657

k i skipped today's fashion show. im tired what -.- k i'll post again later. byye

shag day. airport at 10 pm tmr. halfway packing my luggage. &im alr dead tired cos of th fashion show just now. he's not online. i think im gna go to bed now . since he didnt even reply me . ahh, whatever eh .

when i msged him, he replied. when i wanted to talk to him , he talked to me first. when i needed him , him had to spoil th mood. but he cheered me up. so what now, him ? boy , i really give up. treat me as a friend, &i'll be your friend. kay ? kay .

if you're clever, you'll figure what i meant. &nah, nth wrong with th english. heh .

fuck , just shut up. they're fighting. with each other now. fr th first time, he shouted back , harshly . she, as usual . like some bitch . who is she to control him aniway ? who?! fuck it, ur voice is so very irratating i'd rahter go with him. i fucking pity him . i see what he has gone thru . he does care. you? you only care bout th money. money money. our feelings ? fuck, no . so why dont u just do everyone a favour by shutting up. you can take ur filthy money. cos it doesnt make th world go round. happiness + love does. you can keep ur money to urself. i dont think he wants th car aniway. stop being so narrow minded. i would have gone with him if you'e not known as a 'mum'. you tested his patience. jus fucking remember, we as kids, syurga bawah ur tapak kaki . but syurga fr you is bawah his tapak kaki . hah. obviously your dad didnt teach you well. k im sorry. but still. dad, slap her. hit some sense into her. i love you dad; k bye .

so much fr being there fr me anytime , ah fuck it . what do i expect ? GUYS, talk but never walk . all of them are fucking th same.

what an eventful day , seriously .

first off , didnt have to go lessons cos had exco .
got to know i failed english(i think) & unsatisfying grade for malay (shit),
then went to town aft school ; msged &called mum to let her know but she didnt reply .
penin, bought a shawl fr japann (: then heeren .
&when i was going home from there, bumped into someone .
wasnt from far, but literally bumped into him -.- haha . i didnt know whether it was intentionally,
but oh well (: he admitted it himself -.-k ssh (:
then homme , mum angry cos i didnt tell her (when i did ). she cooled down.
&i had to ask her something important. at last, i did. she agreed. &now, im scared i'll cock up &spoil th whole show .

school tmr, tho its marking day . can i dont go ? -.-

hello people, i was browsing through old photos.. &i found these (:

we were no. 1 fans of power rangers ! oh &we always fought over RED RANGER. haha !

of course im th one smiling widely :D


i look so freaking tiny righht ! hahahaha .

so innocent righht (: &i look like a freaaking anak cine sesat !

im confused, guess i have th same fate with khairah eh ? omg, i need help . i am so sorry if anth happens. haii , japan trip soon , omg cant wait ! its gna be autumn ! :D

do i miss you ? nah, i cant.

pictures will be uploaded at multiply account :]
i've uploaded half of them. th link is at th profile column. k bye .

kay raya ytd, at last i made up my mind to follow, cos my dad told me to .
i love youuu, IBRAHIM OMAHAT (:

kay , so there were only 3d&3e gilrls. &guys from 3e,3d &3c. i'll upload th pics when i get them .

aniway, you there
if you'e serious about this , you have to change your ways. dont ask me who im referring to here, cos it'll just show you cant even understand me . &i'll just lie to you aniway. maybe i expect too much from you ? or maybe you made a mistake by thinking im th right girl for you. but pleasse , ure getting on my nerves . change ur ways if you're rly serious bout me. okay? if you're guilty of what i said, then it must be about you . im sorry if you're like tersinggung by what i said, but i guess this is fr th best. no wait, i saw ur pm. if you cant forget abt th past, why did u come to me in th first place? im doing my best to forget MY past, just to giv you a chance. but you ? FORGET IT LAHH .

its very irritating when th guy doesnt know how you're feeling or even guess it .
its like you have no common sense at all ! thinkk ,
seriously , go get some realtionship tips . AHH! fuck lahh , im so sorry .
second thoughts ? )):

amaths was do-ablleee :D sort of. much easier than mid year.
woohoo , im free ! jalan raye tmrr . idk what to wear. heeeh .

what a sucka . what pointpoint &looklook . jealous eh ? next time i come chase the taxi &slap ur face then y'know. haha! kidding . i didnt do anything to you, so stop it ahh . kids ,

outing with girlfies . yay. happy happy day . i'll upload th pics when i get them .
omg, my 'R' on th keyboard is spoilt. howw ?! -.- ah nvm . and my phone batt is condemned , thus, my phone is officially dead. oh noo )':
eoy is over, SO. what should i do now ? -.-




i swear im fucking bored.

i took fr granted for all those times i thought would last somehow ,

i feel like ranting, up to you to read.
-

so, tmr's th last paper. amaths. im gna give my best shot at it . plss . if i pass , i'd be so fucking happy okay . believee i can do it ! (: hah right. nvm, then i can enjoy after that. jalan raya with friends on friday . my house first. okay so what.

ohh, japan trip. i seriously think , im gna back out . singapore flyer with dnt students on th last week. &farewell party fr ms foong &ms lee on friday . i have to help out. or evth will go bonkers. singapore flyer with d&t students-fun peoplee , i have to go . if not wrong its with na d&t students too. once in a lifetime thing whaat . cant miss. japan trip , once in a lifetime. but th company ? i have a feeling i wont enjoy being there. plus, farz is not even sure too . who can i openly talk to bout life there ? heh. &if i were to go there just to see th wonders of japan , i guess i can always ask my parents to bring me there when they want to waste their money. now, its just not th right time . so yeah , ive made my decision, to not go(: cos i have better things to do in spore(: oh, khairah's birthday is on that week too. i cant possibly miss it righht ? (:

oh, &friend, im sorry. but i just thought it was right to let her know . its not about making a bad impression of you or anth , but she is changing . maybe you dont see it cos you're not close to her anymore ? idk. but just so you know , i had no intention to make her hate you or whatsoever . wait, she doesnt . so yea .

&then cca. i realise mr clement is taking charge alr. omg, i cant belief he'll be th next OC. so irritating , but he's a fun teacher (: but i kinda miss ms foong. she doesnt care bout us anymore ): like myra said, despite her nagging everytime, we still love her okaay . that made cd th cca it is noww (: &also , who i am now (: hah . oh well, farewell party for ms foong will be held. to thank her for everrythingg.

im missing you, &i know im not suppose to. im feeling down, when i dont know why. this song called oceans apart, is making me so freaking sad. memories of th past coming to haunt me again . gosh,

kay im gna sleep &then start amaths. byye !

LYLY ; says:
eh ! maria hertogh kahwin bile dia 13 years old sey !

Yugo16 says:
haha
then?
u also nak ikot?
kahwin at tis age..
brangan nak kahwin nan sape je..
heh(:

LYLY ; says:
hahahaha
dah 15 seh !
dah bole kahwin !
hahahahaha
k stop it lyly .

HAHAHA! PEOPLEE, I WANT TO KAHWIN ALRR .HAHAHAHA,

lylyyyy ! you stupid bitch ! tau main bunga api jerrr >:(
emaths was a screwed up paper, thanks to my fucking nose ! A1? HAH, i dont think i can pass also :'( i dont deserve to enjoy aft th exams.
godd, im gona cry a river noww :''''(

you wont understand how i could just kill a man,

And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright; &I'm just fine(:

wokay, chem was a total fucked up paper. but so what ? (: physics was alright. i could do all the questions! had effort rly paid off. next stop, emaths (: targetting a1 babyy (: okay, so aft school. all my gfs had POA paper D: so i didnt wait. had to take home keys from mum at her work . MOK(: accompanied me. Ruziqa too ( dont ask why he was there, gile ) . then they sent me home. reached home, &i slept all the way. ohh, i talked to syir otp . okay, i missed th old times la sehh . right ? ):
i guess situations have rly changed.
oh well .

wee . chemistry and physics tmr. someone kill me ! MUAHAHAHA.
oh, &i think i wna back out fm th japan trip . seriously. haha ! k bye .

My eyes are cupid and they're cooking up a dream(: