"life is a maze, &love is a riddle. "

MYRAA~FIRESTATION TMR!
*winks*

hehe, okay shd i go to th ncdcc day parade to represent my fcking dumb school or not ?
it'll be awkward cos its been long since i went to cd activities, hais. what more, th hq told us at th very last minute AND th training is fr 5 consecutive days after mid years! &idk if there's points or wdv, but i dont caaaaaare, i just want th experience!
Os is one thing, &imagine how dark i'll be! (im so not gona sacrifice my face again fr a fucking parade)

but th thing is, we get to go in th flag barrier contingent at th very last moment, cos they need more WOs. &what more, we get to wear no.1 &it would be a huge & last event as a cadet! aaaaaah, dilemma!!

(Someone) says:
*come on, be part of history. the first ever ncdcc parade
*and you'll be wearing no.1
*carrying your unit flag

unit flag? hmm. a good chance to burn it.
HAHAHAH! K, KIDDING.
_________

you can hate me all you want, by all means. idk how many times i've said this. but i'll say it again. you dont know how difficult it is okay. all these change. i fucking hate bottling things up when im not good at it. yeah, maybe i was living in denial but now i know what i want. i just fucking want to concentrate on Os okay. u wana say thats just bullshit , up to u . u can tell ur lovely brothers evth i do , cos i know surely they look at me as someone who doesnt appreciate u fr what uve done, someone who treats u like fucking shit. well wdv. they're th last bunch of people i would ever listen to, &that includes you. you dont want to study or buck up, its none of my business anymore. its just you? well , ppl change, so can you if you try. but ure not even trying to why shd i even care when i've got my life to worry about. i cant giv a fucking shit bout this relationship thing, yes i did have feelings fr you. dont u think all these is just infatuation? all these are just bullshit? dont you think if were tgt, we wont even last till god knows when? relationships are just temporary, why bother bout it when we can have fun all we want at this age. u can always find ur partner in th future when ure more matured right. i bet in few years time, you'll just forget bout me . its always like that. so buddy, listen up good. maybe its th past that made me this way. but thank god. it rly made me look at a brighter side of life. a life without regrets. i love th way things are now. although in ur eyes, were far apart. all i can say is, its just what you think. cos mid years are close , &i rly dont wana screw it up.sometimes u just have to sacrifice smth in ur life for ur future y'know. lies? hah, its getting anoying each time we fight(idk why we even have to).
its not me, its you.