oh god.
i cant help but to blog bout this.
cos i just cleaned up my cupboard.
&i found this familiar notebook.
&found like lots of painful memories inside.

inside, thers like so called letters. to mostly my mum;
&i guess it was written when i was with him still.
cos on every page, i will write,
'syg, where are you?' ' i need you badly now &ure not here'.
&, ' i dont think i can count on you when i have problems. im suffering here,crying, &ure out ther enjoying urself. wth, help me please.'

shit. i remember clearly that day oke. i kept on writing on this stupid notebook while my mum's words fucking killed me. &i kept on calling for him, hoping he'd sms or smth.
fucking hell.